kĩndũ kĩnini #20
(small thing): cures for misogynoir when therapy is not enough
wa Ngamĩro, meaning of or from Ngamĩro. Ngamĩro, a gourd used to hold milk and my maternal great-grandmother's name. an ode to vessels and also my grandmother who was of - from Ngamĩro. this is a space for exploration, curation, na meciria makwa (and my thoughts). wa Ngamĩro is a monthly-ish newsletter.
become as you as can be.
take up space and guard your light because your life depends on it. harsh winds may come and fires dim but you are still you. surround yourself with people who will share their warmth when you’re tired and cold. even when you type misogynoir, there is underlined red line. you are unsure of spelling and lived reality, but you surely exist. you, flesh and bone. you, wound and ache. you, girl gone sour. want to be be happy and bright but the weight of the world and lack of decency have taken their toll. you, woman wanting to continue being, but not like this.
love yourself cuz you matter.
especially in the moments when you feel small. especially when history is a block of heavy stone laid upon your chest. look at the faces of older Black women in my community, see the same but different tired. worry what these moments are doing to Black elders who been fighting as long as they’ve been. wonder what these moments are doing to me. friends ask what’s wrong and it feels true to say, “everything.”
laugh because there is still life.
i come from funny folk who make people gasp for air. a gift to make light of the mightiest of struggles. remember the humor and keep your edge. you are not to be taken lightly, though you do bring joy and take away the pain. you are the rain and the rainbow and the gold. you are all the best parts of songs and the funniest corniest jokes. you are worth dignity and needing much more.
grieve the humanity you want today.
because there were many todays that never came. i remember always feeling other and ever surprised to be treated less than. i will cry for what i was owed today and rest to take on tomorrow. i will check my body for marks after “micro-” and “macro-” of aggressions. i will make note of where it hurts and if able dance the bullshit away.